Anxiety

I have anxiety.

Not “oh I have a test I didn’t study for” anxiety.

No, it’s real real genuine anxiety.

I have anxiety/panic attacks.

I shake and I can’t breathe.

My heart races and I feel like I’m gonna die.

When I start feeling an anxiety attack coming on,

I start to tap on my skin.

Not a casual tap.

No. It’s a drumming tap.

A tattoo needle speed tap. A speed that if I could tap

At that speed my skin would be filled with marks like stars.

My arm, my collarbone, my thighs.
They would all be covered in little stars.

Maybe I would love myself more then

I would be the sky,

But for real.

Filled with constellations and beauty.